CluELeSs & Co

10. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
9. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don’t force beer on minors who can’t think for themselves.
6. When you have beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody’s ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer.
4. You don’t have to wait 2,000+ years for a second beer.
3. There are laws saying that beer labels can’t lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a beer.
1. If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.
Technorati Tags: jokes, fun, joke, beer joke, jesus joke, top 10

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a Donkey from an old farmer for $ 100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the Donkey died last night.”

Kenny replied: “Well then, just give me my money back.” The farmer said: “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Kenny said: “OK then, just unload the Donkey.” The farmer asked: “What you goanna to do with him?”

Kenny: “I’m going to raffle him off.” (To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery – draw a lot to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket). Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” Kenny: “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, “What happened with that dead Donkey?” Kenny: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $ 998.” Farmer: “Didn’t anyone complain?” Kenny: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.”

Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of the American Energy Company: Enron.

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.”
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, “Why wjould you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?”

The man replied, “Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here,
was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me sir, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

”You must be an engineer,” said the lady balloonist.

“I am”, replied the man. ‘How did you know?’

”Well”, answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me at all. If anything you’ve delayed my trip even more.”

The man below responded, “You must be in Top Management.”

”I am”, replied the lady balloonist, “but, how did you know ?”

“Well,” said the man, “You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems.” !!

Santa Singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh’s place in a brand new red Ferrari.

Banta: Wow Santa, what a car! Where did you get it from?

Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this car and asked me – “want a ride Mr. Singh?”

I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr Singh take anything”

Banta is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?”

Santa: I took the car.

Banta: good show – you wouldn’t have fit into her clothes