CluELeSs & Co

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. Said he: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

The audience was in silence and shock.

The speaker added: “And that woman was my mother!”

Laughter and applause……..

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.

He said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”

The wife went mad with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke,

The manager finally blurted out “……. and I can’t remember who she was!”

Moral of the story:  Don’t copy if you can’t paste!

A Professor at one of the IIMs was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. “Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing”

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. “Marry him.” -That’s Advertising”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me – That’s Telemarketing”

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” – That’s Public Relations”

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich!”Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand Recognition”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. – “That’s Customer Feedback”

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. – “That’s demand and supply gap”

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him – “That’s competition eating into your market share”

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – “That’s restriction for entering new markets”

A small glimpse of what can happen to Vijay after Vivina watches Ghazini movie

After effects of Ghazini movie

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)
2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)
3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)
4.If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)
7.Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog”when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something else)
8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will stay and watch)
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)
14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
18.Why is it called a “building” when it is already built? (strange isn’t it)
19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
20.If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?  (Einstein shud have answered this. Check out his theories of relativity !)  
21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)
22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)
23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)
24. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars ? (Good Question )