Clueless-co.com

A Letter to Every Indian - APJ - forward by Vasu

Prav — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:24:19 +0000

Published by uttishthata July 6th, 2007 in APJ Abdul Kalam

The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam ’s Speech in Hyderabad .
Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.
Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.
Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don’t work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name - ‘YOURS’. Give him a face - ‘YOURS’. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don’t throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don’t say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn’t dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, ’see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.’YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, ‘Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so’s son. Take your two bucks and get lost.’ YOU wouldn’t chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand .
Why don’t YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don’t YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay, Mr. Tinaikar, had a point to make. ‘Rich people’s dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,’ he said. ‘And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan.
Will the Indian citizen do that here?’ He’s right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.
When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? ‘It’s the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons’ rights to a dowry.’ So who’s going to change the system?
What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one’s conscience too…. I am echoing J. F. Kennedy’s words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..
‘ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY’
Lets do what India needs from us.
Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or junk mails.
Thank you,
Dr. Abdul Kalam

I humbly request you to forward this to every Indian…… ……… ……… …

Clueless is back…and back with a bang!

Prav — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:12:45 +0000

Hello Junta,

Whats up and whats down? I could not resist myself from writing a mail to you guys, so started of with one even without having an internet connection at home. Every mail that I send before getting internet connection at my home, I thank my neighbour( Ramya) who is lending her connection because of which I am able to keep in tch with my friends! And all those friends who have sent individual mails and offline chat messages, please consider this as my reply! When I get internet connection I can send fursat se individual mails..

Today is Preeti’s Birthday! Though you may not get to wish her personally, you can send wishes to the skies and she will get it there. So HAPPY BIRHTDAY TO PREETI, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PREETI, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PREETI, HAPPY BIRHTDAY TO YOU! She chose to travel on her birthday so that she can get to celebrate two birthdays! Right Preeti? Anyways, we wish you all good luck for your studies. May you get good handsome and helpful classmates, who not only take you out for dates but also write notes and homework for you! May you get a suitable accomodation and hope you get lots of good home made food there. Exams mein acche number leke Clueless and Co ka naam roshan karna! Hamari aashirwaad tumhare saath hain!

The next good news is that Smitha is out of the count of umemployed youth( If i can count her as youth) in this world! Yes, she has got a job in London and very soon madam is going to earn in pounds! All the best Smitha! May you get a good boss, good hikes, good work and above all have the facility of google and gmail all the time:)

The next good news is that Vijay is going to be a father soon..soon as in Feb next year! Congrats to the Father to Be!

Preeti, Kireeti had come to my home on time to drop me at the airport. He has become a more reliable person and you can give him responsiblities. Yeah, he also fixed a new music system to his car. And to add plum to the cake, Murali has gifted him a Jaane tu..ya Jaane na Audio CD. He was playing the songs for me when I was on my way to the airport. The unique thing about the music system is that it stops for a moment whenever the car has to jump over a speed breaker Kireeti, is it still working that way?

Kireeti, as to your question of how are the potiyaan here. I would say not very impressive. You have better options in India. Its a totally black and white culture - Men in white and women in black burkhas always! Ask Vijay, he is the only one wearing colours in the whole call center dept. Rest all are in Black and white! And Omani Men are more good looking than Omani Women..but yeah there are more handsome guys in India! Smitha, if you were disappointed that curtains are all dull colours,come have a look at Muscat. Atleast people in UK wear colourful clothes!

Well the best thing I like about Muscat is that they are NO DOGS here! Yipee!! When I observed that I did not see any dog till now, one of my friends commented saying that you will rarely find them and they are zero in count in my area. What luck I have this time!

Its hot here and you cant find people outside in the afternoon. Though the temperatures are similar to Indian summer, its feels more hot here as there is less greenery. There are brown barren hills across the city! I still have not visited any beach, though its some kms close by.

You get most of what you have in India. You even get coconut water and Chandamamma. I was all smiles when I saw them But looks like coconut water gets out of stock soon and you may not get it always!

We have all Indian neighbours, very kind and friendly. They are ready to cook for me if I am not feeling well. But thanks to Vijay I did not need there help! They share sweets and delicious items on festivals( We had some good sweets on Janmashtami). I am glad that I have Indians around which suits in my current condition. I have also realised that I could be the worst ever house wife . When I see the housewives around they do lots of cooking and special dishes and sweets. They follow customs and celebrate festivals and a whole lot of things. I am the only gochu who is stil not confident about basic cooking And worse now, Vijay does most of the cooking - Thanks to my new found fussiness and choosiness about food. All bachelors guys, I seriously hope that you dont get a wife like me! I pray that I get out of my self assessed poor performance soon! Insha Allah!

What do I do in Muscat? - Vaccum cleaning and putting the clothes to the washing machine(twice a week), washing vessels,eating and sleeping! Sometimes go out for shopping and some email checking.

We saw Bacchna ae Haseeno, which I found it to be bakwaas, as we could not get tickets for Singh is Kinng. May be if it goes out of cinemas halls I have to watch the DVD, even a pirated one would do. As originals are very expensive here. Wish I had Kireeti here!

Teja, I guess you could have a great future here as most buildings are white with no intersting structure or shape. All white boxes in line! The architecture may not appeal to you( atleast the looks)! You would end up saying my college guys can give better looking models Teja, we are setting up our new home. Can you sasta and tikau ideas of beautifying our homes which would appealing and pleasant to a pregnant lady and also to the baby inside!

What else, looks like Twist and Ram are taking up Preeti’s role of sending forwards. Looks like Preeti has created a good back up for sending forwards. I hope you have also created a back up for organising trips. And, all those who want to get interesting SMS forwards, then make sure you are in the contact list of Ravi.

Thats it guys,

Keep in touch and take care.

Luv
Vivina

Good one liner for Laugh - Another Nice forward..

Prav — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 08:56:58 +0000

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
Having one child makes you a parent; have two … you are a referee.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
t;,"sans-serif";";"> Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.

Cheers !

Clueless and Co- London ki Kudi

Prav — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:11:02 +0000

Hello Everyone,
I just had a big glass of Horlicks and I am waiting for it to digest. Not knowing what to do, I thought I shall send an update mail about Clueless and Co. Hyderabad guys, please read the last para, if you dont have patience to read the entire mail.
Kireeti has taken me to Jaane tu.. ya Jaane na, So I shall be kind to him and not pull his legs.
I had been to Bangalore. Sudha, Biz, Sushma & Harshal Murali and myself met for dinner. Everyone had a blast. Wish all you guys could meet Sushma and Harshal. One will never get bored with them. Guys at that dinner, do you remember Harshal had promised to send replies to the emails. I did not get any, did you?
Well, I then went to Pune. Had spent a whole week with Smitha. Sorry Jigna, I planned to come for a day to Mumbai to see you and Nikhil. But, I fell sick and could not come. Sudha had joined for the weekend and we enjoyed the weekend.
Murali had disappeared after that dinner at bangalore and no one knew where he was, what he was doing, how he was etc. Some friends had undying trust on him saying that he was working in hiding! Smitha and I had Scotland Yard level investigations.After that we lost interest and left it mid way.Thanks to Murali missing, Ganesh and Smitha have become good friends, like how Praveen and I became good friends earlier. . I was so excited about Murali ‘getting lost’ that I wanted to write a short story, titled - KHOJ……Dhoondthe reha jaooge!! I started the story and left it half way as I lost the interest. Someday when Murali gets ‘lost’ again and if that interest springs back, I shall complete the story.
Our star of clueless and co update today is SMITHA! I guess everyone knows that Smitha has moved to London. Well her status message in G talk says - Namasthe London
Sudha and myself were the unfortunate souls to see her pre london excitement. She had showed us all the shopping she had done. I was more unfortunate to have seen the shopping stuff twice. She was all praise for her socks, especially the yellow colour ones. If we have a cluless and co outing in the next six months and if Smitha is to join us, I bet she would wear the yellow colour socks!!
She had half a dozen perfumed deodarants(this was not part of london shopping) and she asked us to take it as she was not planning to take it to London. But Smitha, I think you need it more than us. You are taking a bath once in two days over there and we bath daily here!! I guess there will soon come a time, when she will take bath only when she is going to attend interviews!
Smitha feels that London is like an hill station in India. Smitha, how many hill stations have you seen in India. No hill station in India has rivers as polluted as the Thames in London. Though India has a population crossing a billion, the hill stations are not as densely populated as London which has over 7 million people. Well I think I can give the differences later in a private mail.
She has only been sleeping and shopping from the time she is in London. Smitha wake up before you go penniless. And shopping reminds me, that she has bought a curtain for 54 pounds just because she liked it a lot.
But Smitha, all our wondering why did you move to London? Well, if you are fed up that you could not find a suitable guy here and you thought you would try to find out suitable partners there?? If yes, All the best! Yeah you can still dream about Prince Williams. No harm in dreaming.
After a year, Smitha would be seen in colourful short skirts and matching hats with a junk of jewellery around her, dark lip sticks, her eyes totally made up and her belt around her slim waist! Thats Smitha,rather Smi or may be Sue!
And you would have some road side romeo singing - Sue kar, mere mann ko, Kiya tune kya ishara….
Her tastes would change - From Jaljeera to Vodka, from biryani to burgers, from fatfats to English cookies!
One fine day she call up her dad and will say - Dad I wanna get married. I have lived with him for 2 years and find him to be a perfect partner. He is Charles Brown and I am going to be Smi Brown. You and Mom are invited!
Her dad will go wild and shout at her. Are you gone crazy . What are you talking about getting to married to an English. My Daughter with an English Surname. From Smitha
Vajapeyayajula to Smi Brown. Why cant you get married to someone Indian. Why, would ‘nt a Rao or Ramachandra do good? Or may be even a Bhatta or a Bhutia, but what is this yellow and brown. Please for God sake come to India and get married to an Indian.
Smitha, bahut sapney dekh liye. Koi firang patne wala nahin hai. You would get married to an Indian only!
Vasu, Swetha has still not replied with her date of birth. Can we do anything about it?? Has she got replyphobia??
Vasu, I also got Kireeti’s official email id.: kdamaraju@ea.com. Are you planning any pranks. If yes, please include me so that we can together play the prank on Kireeti.
I guess my milk has digested and I am feeling sleepy..But before I say bye,
Hyderabad guys - Can we all meet sometime next weekend. Just wanted to see all your lucky faces before I go to muscat and also Preetihi is leaving next month to the US. Please suggest some places and time.
Love you all,
Vivina.

Yuhin Khat jaye safar saath chalne se

Prav — Thu, 29 May 2008 11:26:05 +0000

Hi All,

Yuhin Khat jaye safar saath chalne se,

ki manzil aaye gi nazar saath chalne se,

But looks like clueless & co is very happy with the safar and is not bothered about the manzil!

Yep its all hip and happening at Hyderabad …some of us met at Preeti’s dad’s 60th birthday.. had a one day trip to Srisailam and a dinner at Jai Kiran’s place…The person to going to dominate today’s updates is Our Kirru… Kireeti!

Well he has got an ‘international’ job at EA …EA Mobiles. And yes there is ‘punch act’ for him as well.. If you don’t understand what a punch act is — its something like lifting the right hand for preeti…For those who don’t know about Preeti and right hand.. Its ok…half of them don’t know the reason, but still they raise the right hand for preeti!.. Preeti means right hand… and right hand means preeti.. Her identity is raising the RIGHT HAND! Got it guys?

Preeti’s dad birthday was fun- Me,Murali, Jay, Vijay, Karthik( we came to know him as Preeti’s colleague….but he became so good a frnd that he is part of clueless and co now, and if he is not a part of clueless and co, C& CO stands to lose)..So karthik we are very mean creatures( u wud have known us by now) and would want you to be with us!

Preeti had a sweet little baby with her all through the party, incase people get bored with her they can have a break playing with the baby…In fact Preeti was surrounded by people always… If you think preeti was a crowd puller, your mistaken …it was the baby which had done the trick! Food was fantastic and need’nt say C&CO guys are shameless gourmets.. We all had the aloo fries (half of preeti’s plate was only that) leaving her craving and crying for the aloo fries.. Poor baby she lost the interest to serve herself with aloo again.. Karthik was a mast source of mazaa and masti there. Vijay and myself spent little time there…but it was wholesome entertainment even during that little time!

I am sorry guys… I am really sorry guys… I mentioned that Kireeti was to dominate the newsletter and I keep speaking about kireeti.. Special sorry to Kireeti..Sorry Chicha.. I will start right away with you!
We came to Kireeti place as the bus was starting from there, we all were ready and it was then he entered the bathroom to have a bath. It took him half an hour to come out in spite of all of us knocking his bathroom to come soon. Probably he had a ritual of bathroom cleaning everyday

Well guys, Kireeti ‘has got an international job’ as Vj puts it.. though it means that he has got a job in an international company. Our Srisailam trip started with his job and went on and on. His job is all about playing and playing and playing games all through the day(finding faults thru testing)..I knw Smitha you must be feeling jealous!( I can image you with your mouth opened wide and say…wow yaar.. nice to earn your salary playing games)

Like there was ‘Rokoooooooo’ for hognekkal trip, Nuvvu okke okka maugadu for RK in Lohaghad trip, Vasu ok ante, gang antha ok for Vizag trip,… Vijay kept telling the driver every 15 minutes ‘ Maa vadiki International job vacchindi’.. (Our boy has got an international job).. The driver must have got bugged up..though he put a smiling face all through.

Vj has got another punch story like a punch dialogue… He has been telling this story for the past one and a half months, that when he goes to Muscat he would dig his backyard for oil and take it out using a mug and use it and was also very generous to send it through a pipe to India when people asked him to share petrol with them!.. Guess it must be a magical pipe( converting oil to petrol)! And then he would become rich after having dug out oil and he would eventually become a sheikh wearing their traditional dress, dancing with Arab dolls and marrying many women! Guess getting married thrice already, he has become fond of weddings!

Sorry, the newsletter is dedicated to Kireeti, So we go back to Kireeti. Kireeti was going ga ga about a colleague of his from the day he got selected for the job… He has liked her immensely..but was heart broken to find toe rings on her feet.. Her Name is Divya. Alas if only she could be Divya Damaraju! As aamir khan says, Bus train aur ladki ke chootne par, udhaas hona nahin chahiye! Ek gayee, tho doosri aa gayee..! we were talking about testing and testing - be it mobiles or beards! Kireeti was the pun of all the jokes! Teja was super delighted to find her bro cornered and each one shooting him down with their humour. It is fun to find her own brother jagged on her very first trip with C&CO. The first half of the day was fun, all because of Kireeti and his job at EA!

Dum charades has been an entertainer always.. Murali gloriously speaking of the rules of not breaking into letters and enacting the word… yeah later on when we decided to give him a simple word to enact - Ada, he very conveniently broke his own rules and split it to “A” and “Da” without enacting it!
And if you think there is any connection between first night, cricket and a horse (all used to enact the same word)…yes there is and for that you had to be part of the game that day.. And such connections can be created by our brainy boy - Twist. There was an RS Brothers Ad by Kireeti and Vj, Dark and Handsome Ad by Twist and Ganesh
Well, we had a game of telling three statements about ourselves of which one would be a lie. Kireeti started of saying - I am passionate about movies, I am not a virgin…and then he forgot the third statement.. Vasu warned saying be careful before you tell your statements because we are just waiting for chances to pull other people’s legs…but our poor boy ignored the warning. He gave his three statements- I am passionate about movies, I am not a virgin and I am perverted.. Which one do you think is false.. I don’t want to give the answer as we can have a chain of mails for that.. and a lot more pulling. I cant write about the pulling we did, not that I am not a shameless, but there is too much to write! We are shameless creatures here, we are known to blow things out of proportion! Right Twist? The entire day was fun, fun and loads of fun and there was never a dull moment. We got to play in the waters of the river.. We played throwing and catching a ball with people positioning themselves at different rocks in the river. And if you want something flowing along the river current to come faster to you, Twist knows the trick. I don’t want to tell it because watching it is more fun. I am sure all the guys to srisailam would agree with me.

We had cricket as well, Players being - Kireeti, Twist Vijay and myself. And like every time, twist was out by Vivina! I guess Vijay or may be Kireeti was the highest scorer with 4 runs.. I don’t remember, rather I did not bother to remember as I was not the highest scorer. And again it was masti till we were back home. I guess every trip of clueless and co would be memorable, for the amount of fun we have each time when we are together.

Since Ram could not make it to the trip, he had come home to our place to meet Vj and me together before Vj left for muscat. Cool evening breeze, dinner by moonlight, Kishore kumar music in the background and chit chatting was so much fun. we are
glad that you made it to spend time with us.

Well if you think, i am done with the mail and kireeti, I am sorry I am not done. Still there is more to tell about our Virgin Kireeti, His colleagueDivya Damaraju…errr sorry Deepa Kannan) and EA. We met for dinner at Jayakiran’s house and this time with full attendance as we missed his house warming ceremony. We got another punch dialogues for preeti - I don’t believe, I don’t believe, So do use them whenever you have the opportunity with her!
We all were eager to know about Kireeti’s office and his job. When we asked him how his day went? His response was go to office, swipe the card, attend training, chit chat with people around, have lunch, again some chit chat and time pass and then come back home looking at girls around in hi-tech city, MMTs and buses. Teja shot a question, then why do you come appearing to be very tired as if you had a hard day at office. Kireeti did not have any answer for that, even though he said something it was no answer to the question! Kireeti also mentioned that he does goes to the bathroom ( let me be crude and not use the word - rest room) because his few fond crush was close by to the restroom and whenever he goes to the bathroom he gets to see Divya Kannan. What a way to take a break! Kireeti says everyday she looks new and different. Vijay shot a doubt - Hope ur not seeing a different girl everyday and thinking them to be Divya Kannan. well thanks to Twist and Vj there was so much pulling, dragging and blowing out of proportions the Kireeti - Divya saga. I was all eager to put all of them in the update mail to Clueless and Co (but some things are best enjoyed when witnessed rather than reading about it) and yes my writing skills are not all that great to make you experience the same fun. I was also thinking to copy Divya Kannan and asked him her mail id. He responded saying am I mad to give that to you. Well what followed was a permutation and combinations of what her mail id could be.. divya.kannan@ea.com , divya_kannan@ea.com, divya.kannan@ea.com, divya.kireeti@ea.com, divyaloveskireeti@ea.com, kireetilovesdivya@ea.com
and it went on and on.. Well, we even imagined what our responses would have been when Kireeti introduced us to Divya! Thanks to Kireeti, EA and his Divya we had loads and loads of fun. We continued to laugh even though our jaws ached and our stomachs pained. Jayakiran, it was a memorable dinner which we would never forget in our lifetime. And i want to go on and on about the dinner, but but …guess i need to stop. Hyderabad guys can you help me… probably you could add more in you’re replies.

Love you all for the way you are!
Vivina.

Clueless May update.. Wass up in Clueless? ? ?

Prav — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:09:00 +0000

Helloooo…

Hi I am back………….

Well, today is Satti’s Pandu Bday… Happy Bday to Sattu, Happy Bday to Sattu.. happy bday to you… Happy bday to you! ….To celebrate your bday..Vijay and myself had maggi yesterday late in the night!! I know I dont have to tell you who made the maggi!

Let me introduce another person to clueless and co. Some of you guys must have met him at my wedding.. He is Nikhil Jain, husband of Jigna. He works with Airtel, Mumbai. He is happy with his life except that his early hours in the morning go for a waste.. He spends two hours waking up Jigna. I understand Nikhil, I was in same boat more than two years before when we all were staying together. She was the last to get up…She was the last to sleep after watching all serials and movies. Gang, any advice or tips for Nikhil???
Jigna’s favourite movie is Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and I was like what a boring movie it is.. she rebukes saying I dont have taste.. How many of you guys like/ dislike HAHK? Please do reply atleast to this question.

Let me move on to something more worthwhile, Well I have got a lot of updates… The first one is Vijay is finally quitting ICICI!! . He has been with ICICI for 5 years 11 months..( Jayakiran, I know you are very happy to hear it!). And where is he going?? he is going to the land of oil, no I dont mean Kerala… He is going to Oman in the gulf . His last day in ICICI would be June 16th.

One more interesting thing about Vijay is that he has got a temproary team for the next month or so.. And one of his team lead’s name is Kissena.(Kiss-see-na) And he often keeps saying that.. The TL workign with me is Kissena, aadhe mein mat choda, poora naam pukaro.. Well Kissena, reminds me of another thing is that his new boss in Bank of Muscat is a lady..Out of the six bosses he had in ICICI, five of them were ladies. Vijay I am sure you will have a good growth in career in Bank of Muscat as well

Well, there are other interesting stories as well.. Like for example our first night together…and vijay did not like the fact that our first night was not on the first night after our wedding, but instead a week later. It happens Vijay. My MIL( mother in law) had made all the arrangements, she got the house thoroughly cleaned, cooked good food, new bedsheets, a new saree and a dhoti for me and Vijay, flowers, fruits and what not.. She bought a lot of jasmine flowers and she asked both of us to do a boring job - to remove the green stalk from the flower and to tie the flowers to a make a string. We both happily agreed to do it,to soon realise that it was a very boring thing to do. And my understanding husband found an excuse to go to the near by shop, thereby dumping the entire job on me . Grrrrr…..

Then, my MIL was still busy with her preparations, she took the fruits and sweets, placed them in nice cute bowls, laid the flowers on the bed in a heart shape. Put the flask with a glass of milk. I told vijay that there are so many fruits - 5 apples, 6 sapotas and plate of grapes, cashewnuts, and another two plates of sweets. I asked do we require so much? My Mother in law smiled at me and said dont you watch movies.. this is how it is done…. My mind suddenly popped out an image of a scene from an old telugu movie - the hero shoban babu, entering the room with all smiles, the heroine is sitting on the bed covering her head with the palooo and bowin down..and she gets some milk for the husband to drink, and then the hero asks - do I turn of the light? The heroine does not respond, to which the hero says - I would not turn off the light …I would let it be on, so that hamare jeevan may be roshni rahe types.. Suddenly another thought springs up in my mind, Vivina you and telugu movies, that to of shoban babu times?? How do u remember all this… well not my fault my mother in law has created such a set up!

Then everything was ready I was sitting on the bed to relax for sometime. Then Vijay got the glass of milk from the table and came towards to me so that I could drink half of it. And then suddenly he turned back and put the glass back. I was like what happened why did he turn away suddenly.. He said - ‘Lady ideally you should be getting the glass of milk and not me.. So I would sit and you get the glass of milk ‘.. I started laughing… that was so cute and funny!..Well, thats all I could tell you about my first night!

Well, its not over yet…they are many more updates about clueless and co…

bijeta has got a job in Bangalore.. she is movin out there. Bijeta you have company there.. Sudha is in Bangalore and I can assure you that can have her company as long as you are there in Bangalore, for she has dedicated her life to Satyam and her first target is to beat Vijay’s record of 5 yrs n 11 months in one company. Way to go Sudha!..

Namita has thoroughly enjoyed her first anniversary celebrations.. She and Mahaveer had gone to some Island of romance or something like that.. Well, i dont have the update whether Mahaveer also enjoyed.. We assume that he also has enjoyed, else we’ll have to go by Namita’s words which would be the same…..

Praveen had recently got an eye operation done to correct his short sightedness and he came all smart for my Christian wedding wearing Scott glasses.. He tried hard to patafy the girls around.. but no luck! He did not lose heart, he said if not in India, I would be able to win over someone’s heart outside India. He went to Colombo for touring..but he lost heart to the beautiful places there. He has liked it so much and has enjoyed so much there. Praveen, please do send us snaps..Not only the ones with scott glasses, even the ones without them

Jayakiran, is very busy in life.. Absolutely no time. wondering busy with what?? Busy with decorating the interiors of his home and he is going to invite us to home after he is done with them.. Outstationers are welcome.. please do let us know which weekend is convienant for you.. we all can meet again and spend time together. Vasu do let us know, probably we can have a game of cricket once again.. this time at Jay’s place. Probably we can name our team..like the fancy names in IPL..clueless and co chargers or clueless and co challengers!..What say?

Well, you guys must be waiting to hear something about Murali, Preeti and all of them. Well, Murali had been to Preeti’s place one evening. Preeti made Manchuria for him and after that he escaped to Pune and has still not returned.. Can anyone update about Murali please.. Smitha please help us.

By the way, smitha is busy going to Mumbai these days.. she is shutlling between Mumbai and Pune, Why Mumbai?? I guess she is giving some courses on anger management to Bhajji.. Thats something cool, from Smitha the Cooool!!

Swetha has moved out to a new office a Gacchibowli and the udpate is that she is not liking the office there, she did not like building…she did not like anything.. Hmm swetha, its ok, there are somethings in life which we should accept. Do accept it as you have accepted your brother

Vasu, sorry the name does nt suit him.. well twist is going all ga ga about the Gachibowli road. He says if anyone wants to go for a long ride they can use Gachibowli road.. He has liked it a lot.. that he is planning to pen a poem on it. The Road not taken.. You can be assured that it would not be circluated beyond clueless and co and it wud surely surely not enter the English syllabus of any country!

Well, i tried to call up Ravi and find out if anything is happening apart from his bad times with his boss..Yeah all i could get to hear is the OSO song - Jag soona soona lage, jag soona soona lage and a message saying that the Reliance customer is not responding!!

So thats about it, hope no one has slept by the time they have reached the end of the mail..

Catch you guys soon… Also, guys do
let me know
if I have missed to send the email to any clueless and co members…

Luv
Vivina…alias Mrs Vijay

Rose – Forwarded by Rose (Jigna Jain )

Prav — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 08:35:54 +0000

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.
“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”
“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.
We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up..
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.
You have to laugh and find humor every day.
You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty -seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”
She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose”
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.
When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get,
We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
“Good friends are like stars………You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

—
” COURAGE TO KNOW “.

Can any one explain… – Thoughts forwarded by Mr. Vijay Kumar Baljepalli

Prav — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:47:31 +0000

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not
joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)
2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests
it? (to be given a thought)
3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)
4.If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged
during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that
stuff? (very good thinking)
5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)
7.Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog”
when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something
else)
8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone
reversed? (God knows)
9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones
eyes)
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
(tonight i will stay and watch)
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
(seed)
14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No
comments)
15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was
cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
18.Why is it called a “building” when it is already
built? (strange isn’t it)
19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you
turned on your radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think
scientifically)
20.If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you
turn your headlights on, what happens? (
Einstein shud have answered this. Check out his theories of relativity !)
21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one?
(very nice)
22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all
the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)
23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at
least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road? (stupid,
break the law)
24. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they
have parking in Bars ? ( Good Question )

Awesome reply: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

Prav — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:44:14 +0000

Pretty’s Love letter

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who doesn’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money”: Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same
goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Rabba Ho Ho Ho HO… Clueless and Co Co Co Co Co

Prav — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 09:04:25 +0000

Hellooooooooooo Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!! ( Well I got so excited in telling hi to you guys!)

Suno Suno duniya ke log, Sabse bada hai Clueless and Co…

Well, long time so I thought I would send a mail to remind everyone that you all our a part of clueless and Co ( Yeah i understand that there no subscriptions to remind you that you are part of this great group)

Well may I take the pleasure to annouce that Vijay and MRs Vijay are getting married to each other. Well no points to guess who Mrs Vijay is .. Its me, myseslf, cutie pie sweetie pie, angel, awesome Vivina!! Well the wedding is on the 19th April, 2008. Mark your diary and do make good arrangements to come to Hyd on 18 itself. Please try your best to come, if not possible the least is expected that you send the marriage gifts

Ok the next big news is that…..oh sorry there is nothing ! People are getting so busy.. I mean our clueless and co star Ms Preeti is very busy. There are very few forwards now a days. Preeti May God keep you so busy always!… Well I can see the entire clueless and co lifting their right hand and saying Ameen :).

Murali Alias Versatile World: Well the biggest update that he and his bike got a year older this March. No suprises for the bike. it still has no name and identity.. It still waiting to be registered.. Murali is 28 years old now.. Oh look that way, Murali is still in his twenties man.. and one of the bachelors waiting to get married.. Murali do get married before its too late. Hail Versatile World!( well this is free advertising on my part to promote VW and make the name familiar if not popular)

Smitha : One of the eligible spinisters in our group.. Not sure about you, but everybody else is waiting when you will get married. Well I am not sure what she learned in her new job…but yes I can tell you that she learnt how to cook rice without a cooker in Pune! Pune will be remembered for this remarkable achievement of hers

Sorry Sudha, I am not writing about you. If i tell that you are still in Satyam, All clueless and co people would pounce on my to give the same stale news about you everytime.

Kireeti : Well this is to announce that Kireeti has written TOEFL exam. Dont be suprised if he speaks only in English to you You ses he talks English walk English sleeps english eats english…so that English goes to the grave nxt to Shakespeare’s..Also his results would be out in mid April. Its bad manners to ask somebody about his/ her results of an examination.. So please remember this.

Bijeta: Well we had an awesome superb time on her wedding anniversary which was on 19th feb( am I right) Anniversary gift by Vijay was one big beautiful flower ( well it was a cauliflower Which later Vijay took it back to be cooked for next day’s lunch!

Satti Pandu finally got the pandu(fruit in Telugu) for all his efforts of hard work( not sure whether it was hard work at work or hard work at muskafying the boss…yeah he is flying to Boston. Anybody wants anything from Boston, Do send it to me I shall edit it and forward the same to Satti Pandu

Praveen : Well Praveen has shaved off his beard… it was as shocking and exciting as Himesh Reshamiya taking of his cap for an award function.. try to get some photos of the new praveen.. The first photo will get a cash prize of Rs 10k from Praveen!

I guess the next occasion where most of us can meet is my wedding, so please make sure that you hit, bang bash, punch Murali for still not sharing all the photos of Vizag Trip..I would not mind joining you guys even though it has to be in the midst of the wedding ceremony!

Take care.. and do keep in touch…..

Vivina.